Recently, I went on a lunch date. Long story short, when the bill came, I pulled the whole “You want to split it?” card, thinking he’d insist on covering the tab as it was our first time out together. Boy, was I wrong! It was a strong “Hell yeah, let’s split it.” instead. That was a turn off for me. What that translated into was that he did not see my worth and that the $65 tab was too much to spend on me.
I know there are differing opinions about whether or not men should pay on the first date, so we’re going to talk about it right now! There is no official rule, however I personally, think men should always cover the first date, especially if they are the ones that asked you to go out with them. A guy covering the tab is not only polite, but is also a manly thing to do that would make any girl feel a sense of security and worthy. Even in modern times when women are fighting to be equal, there are certain traditions that should still be upheld. Despite this, I still come to a date ready to pay for myself and more just in case.
The dates that follow the first are up for grabs! Men shouldn’t be obligated to pay for all of the dates moving forward and that might be a conversation worth having so that everyone is on the same page with expectations. I like to pay for the second date, especially if the first one goes well. It takes the pressure off and is the courteous thing to do.
Here’s how the panel felt…
(a mix of millennial male and female opinions)
“I’m old school, so I’m always going to think that it’s chivalrous for a man to pay for the first date. However, I also think it’s important for both parties to express expectations moving forward.”
“The girl should offer to pay, but the guy should turn it down. If she doesn’t offer to pay any portion at all, LEAVE.”
“I feel like the guy should always pay for the first date, but anything after that is up for grabs from either person.”
“I stopped dating guys because they tried to make me pay.”
“I think men paying for the first date is overrated nowadays. I think whomever asks out the other person should be obligated. I think it also sets a standard for the guy if the girl puts herself forward like that. Social norms are so played out.”
“I think impressions are everything and if you want to keep her happy and show your interest it’s important to take the extra step and put in the extra effort.”
“It’s a requirement and sets the tone for how things continue from there. If I have to pay it’s not a date.”
“I think men should always pay for the first date as a sign of chivalry and women shouldn’t offer to pay. The first date is an opportunity to see if there will be a second.”